cheers to the pre.beginning

i never really thought that this time would actually come...

this whole thing started as a graduation tour to discover my next move [professionally and locationally]. to begin in the fall of 2009 and commence in the spring of 2010.  a dilated plan to run from what was my association with california as unhappiness guaranteed; so far from my family and friends of childhood.  missing birthdays, boyfriends turned fiancee's, new jobs and the life of each one of them.  never really setting roots for myself because i was never going to stay...leaving me to miss just as many chances to celebrate life in my own surroundings as i was obsessing over in the far off. 

it has taken me this year of postponement to come to understand, recieve, and give so many of the things that were 'only at home'.  i've gained a job that i laugh at everyday, make cookies, and share with some of my most cherished friends.  to wake up smiling, to drive the pacific coast highway [watching the ocean waves crash on the shore], and to always want to be a part.  i've gained a man's hand that i want to hold more than if someone were to give me the $133 million lottery ticket just sold in morro bay last friday [shoot, that could be me!  if i ever played the lotto.  i mean, morro's a stones throw away and all.]   and i have finally acknowledged that a long distance relationship is still a relationship...and those relationships contian some of the people that i talk to more than my own neighbors.

so...this leads me to the most commonly asked question:  why are you doing this?
                i am doing this because i can not wait to have the feeling of lost, only to find myself with every friend and family member.  home in unfamiliar places simply due to the conversation, catching up, moving forward, and companionship.  i'm not running anymore, so this leaves the entire adventure up for anything.  there's no pressure to make the right choice after or a changing decision at all...it's as easy of an answer as i'm doing this because i want too and can.

the second most commoly asked question would be:  what are you most excited to do?
                and to be honest [cuz why start to lie now; leave that to the ' i'm having such a great time i don't miss anything ' part of the future entries]...the entire reason that i wanted to travel during the months that i am was to see a new england fall.  gosh-dang, i miss my seasons in cali.  they just do not exist and strike me with lighting in an amazing thunder storm to say, 'i love the humidity and the cold.  i love the buds blooming and the leaves falling.  i want to see it all!'  i want to see a lightening bugs in the northwest, a moose on the side of the road in wyoming; a river in colorado, a corn palace in south dakota; a grave sight in graceland, a roof top in illinios; freaking fish jumping in the great lakes, leaves and leaves and covered bridges in new england; scuba in the atlantic, national monuments in the washington city; lazy mossy trees in the south, sunsets in the desert...and more and more familiar faces along the way.  but maybe too, i'm just looking for a whole lot of amazing swingsets along the way and a ton of time to sing, as loud as possible in my car.  :D

to the places that i am leaving [ i love you ] and to the place i am going [ i can't wait to love you ]!